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welcome to the hole
Once upon a time, I kept a LiveJournal account, gryphons_hole, a deep, dark, comfy little hole in my brain where I kept notes on my life and queerness.
This is the archive to that account, mostly password protected, adult, queer content, stripped of photo content after the site restructured its photo hosting feature. I hope to restore that content as well.
If I know you, ask for the password. If I don’t, hope for a generous mood.
08.18.24 I have realized a need to continue in this space. A kink reawaking if you will, with content that may range into inappropriate for my other blog spaces.
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The Dinner…
OMFG! My sister is whacked!
She literally made whatever anyone wanted… AND the kick-ass, punk-rock turkey from hell!
I think it topped Mr. White’s bacon-wrapped bird… Prosciutto wrapped rosemary sprigs skewered with garlic and stuck into the legs.The stuffing was bread and sausage and celery and onions and apricots. Get this… she loosened the skin from the bird and stuffed the dressing between the skin and meat. All that sausage dripping into the bird over five hours. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…. The bird baked on a bed of carrots and celery, which later went into a gravy with sherry.
For the appetite-encumbered in our family, she also made traditional gravy and my mom’s chestnut bread stuffing (which wasn’t stuffed), baked sweet potatoes AND candied yams, mashed potatoes, Gulliver’s corn (a type of creamed, soupy corn), pearl onions in cream sauce (my favorite) David’s handmade cranberry relish (with Rum!) stuffed celery, homemade parker house rolls…Whew!
And of course pumpkin pie!
Argh! Amazing any of us can still fit in our pants!
Tomorrow, we get to spend the evening (including dinner) with the two most fabulous Southern Lesbians ever EVER! I adore them! I always feel sad if I don’t get to see them while visiting Louisville. They are Chris’ best friends.
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Laughin’ at My Sorry Ass
Yeah…er, um…sure… I was gonna go the WHOLE freakin’ weekend without posting…
Bwwwwwwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahaha…
So the entire family is asleep, but I slept too much on the drive here. And I am a bit too pissy to sleep…
It seems that David overlooked telling me that he was planning all along to head back early to stop in St. Louis where his family is gathering. Since his parents are now going home on Saturday, i don’t know what that means… We have a chair to reupholster… jack-wad!
He always swears that he told me, but my memory is not THAT toasted from the chemo…
Labor day weekend, two and a half months ago, he mentioned that it would be nice if we could stop at his sister’s on the way back. That’s it. Of course, he also tells me regularly that he wants a motorcycle, a pony, and a kayak as well as to study the impact of cathedral architecture on the development of Liturgy (or Litany, of WTF ever…) and learn how to build skyscrapers, so I never know what will actually become real.
This is life with a clueless, selfish bastard. Honestly, I don’t even care that I love him anymore. It isn’t enough of a return for the cost.
This is a fine example of why I so often think of myself as invisible. Only a few select groups ever see me when I am not broadcasting. The freaks, the drunks and the weirdos…
There is a concept refining in my head that touches this last part. I call it the 1 of 5 of 10.
Starting with the generally accepted average that 10 percent of the population is gay, I have made an educated guess that maybe 5 percent of queers of had some experience that I would refer to as their leather awakening and truly, actively lead a life of leather. (although these days I would consider replacing “leatherfolk” with “free thinkers” since my LJ experience has proven that many gain that spiritual awakening outside of leather. The two subjects are strongly linked to each other in my head.)
Of that 5 percent, I currently believe that only 1 percent really have what it takes to “get” me.
That translates to meeting one who gets it out of every two hundred thousand people I meet… Great odds, don’tcha think? And yet, I have already met at least seven of them in the last two months here on LJ, (well, only one in person and I think he showed up with another candidate…) So, there’s 1,599,992 jack-wads that I can just skip over…
Perhaps my odds are improving… like proven means anything…
(Okay, why the fuck is proven not in the spell check?)
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One Last One – I SWEAR This is the Last!
Okay, David’s work crisis is over.
Another social work masterpiece!He will be home any minute and off we go.
My sister didn’t believe that we were late getting off because of David.
Ouch!One last parting thought…
I always wear my heart on my sleeve – as a conscious effort.
I know it will not break. People are welcome to think me a fool…
(The secret as to why? It is a test. To see who will embrace me
and who will cut and run.)Sometimes I get caught up and forget. But I never tuck it away…
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Parting Holiday Thoughts
As I sit waiting for the “other half” to show up
from gods-know-where, I thought I would bestow upon all two parting bits of wisdom
to scare the crap out of y’all…1. I consciously choose EVERY word that comes out of my mouth…
although sometimes I know it will need fine-tuning.and
2. Over two thirds of my thoughts never get heard/read by anyone. Really…
Be afraid… I am just gettin’ started. -
Prep for the Holiday
Well… I just called off work today…
It was only a “half” day which would have ended up more like two hours.I decided I didn’t want to pack dirty clothes to launder at my sister’s.
I am sure I will be a posting whore until we hit the road,
but while I am feasting my LJ will be in famine, ’cause I don’t plan to post
from Kentucky… -
I Can NOT Believe It!
Last nights late entry didn’t post. DAMMIT!
It was good too, although quite pissy!I could never channel that again,
suffice to say I am GREATLY disappointed by many people.
It currently seems that I am meant to not get what I am promised…
I cannot tell if it is me, or the people around me.
Don’t know if it matters.I am tired of crap.
I think I spend a good amount of energy providing (insert whatever here)
for other people in my life. I do not feel it coming back to me at all.Could I really not deserve such basic things as timely communication
and courteous follow-through? That would go against what I have ALWAYS embraced in life.
I am tired of the crap of other peoples lives. I am tired of busting ass
when everyone else just sorta sits there…I don’t what to change this quality in me.
I suppose I would simply like to surround myself with others that act the same.I am tired of being tired.
(It must be fate that dumped last night’s posts,
because this one is much better, and not so mean…) -
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gryphon's hole 