Home

  • welcome to the hole

    welcome to the hole

    Once upon a time, I kept a LiveJournal account, gryphons_hole, a deep, dark, comfy little hole in my brain where I kept notes on my life and queerness.

    This is the archive to that account, mostly password protected, adult, queer content, stripped of photo content after the site restructured its photo hosting feature. I hope to restore that content as well.

    If I know you, ask for the password. If I don’t, hope for a generous mood.

    08.18.24 I have realized a need to continue in this space. A kink reawaking if you will, with content that may range into inappropriate for my other blog spaces.

  • Protected: ugh!

    This content is password-protected. To view it, please enter the password below.

    ,

  • Protected: The Isolation of Not Belonging

    This content is password-protected. To view it, please enter the password below.

  • No Sketch for Today

    I can take a hint without beating up on myself. The beatings I prefer as their own entity…

    There are so many things in flux coursing through my head right now. This is not the time to put on paper. I will keep with the writing and studying and planning, this is a huge undertaking for one person.

    Perhaps I should move forward with my Gearheads. The inks are so close to finished it is almost sad that they are not done.

    There is a lot of convergence in my life about this Tarot project. I can certainly use more time to get it better incorporated before producing images that later might not work.

    Good times.

    Maybe now I have time for a wank.

    ,

  • Missing Things That Don’t Know They Are Missing

    Today was my HARC-mart day. The local HIV food pantry here in glorious KCMO.

    Their assistance is sometimes meager, but always appreciated and most certainly welcomed. Today’s list included a gallon of chocolate milk. I cannot recall the last time I shopped for chocolate. My first reaction was a bit of a knee-jerk one, since I was concerned about my very limited frig space, but it fit with no troubles…

    May I just say, it has already proven to be incredibly refreshing. I don’t think I would have ever thought to add it as a luxury on my own grocery outing… so such a pleasant surprise…

    Also, I am taking a liking to the guy that runs the counter at HARC-mart. He is adorable, and just my kind of beefy. He did use the ‘we’ word today not in reference to the two of us… but no bother to me. I share! Heheh.

    He is also very kind and friendly with me.

    He is the current beneficiary of my latest trend for hero worship.

    Also, I spoke last night to the office manager at Missie B’s/Bootleggers about maybe hosting a monthly beer bust to benefit HARC-mart. I would very much like this, since they are the only real practical help I have had lately. Just a 20 buck bar card and I could do it. He will check it out for me and let me know. I have gotten a bit tired of the gays raising funds for the entire world except ourselves lately.

    I understand that the Susan G Coleman foundation is most certainly a worthwhile cause. However, they are also in line for much much federal funding and national attention while local charities are losing almost all federal funding and failing without local support. And HARC-mart seems to be the only assistance locally that doesn’t have an obscene income cut-off.

    That is how I plan to give back.

  • Protected: How I Spent My Afternoon…

    This content is password-protected. To view it, please enter the password below.

    ,

  • Protected: The Shrinking Crap of My Life

    This content is password-protected. To view it, please enter the password below.

    , ,

  • Protected: The Beginning of the Deeper Path

    This content is password-protected. To view it, please enter the password below.

  • Protected: The Nicest Kind of Wrap-Up

    This content is password-protected. To view it, please enter the password below.

  • Protected: Devolution – Part 3 The Beginning of the End?

    This content is password-protected. To view it, please enter the password below.

    ,

  • The Day in Reflection

    One more treatment for the planter’s warts. This may be the last… One more set of blisters to walk on for the next few days. The sexy-but-not-my-type foot doctor is moving out of state in a month. Only one more treatment from him. Hope it is the last. I am certain his replacement will not be so intriguing or even gay for that matter.

    And from the PCP: Dr. D did me right. The rash, although still mighty prevalent on my flesh, is some reaction to heat or sun. Or both. He assures me it is not fungal. He also insists it will pass soon enough. He said Benadryl will help, at least for itch relief.

    Also, since I opted to not take the steroid cream option to maybe save two days healing time, he was able to remove the sebaceous cyst from the back of my head. It had increased slightly recently and I am glad to be rid of it. The process was easy. The needle for the local was nasty, of course, everything else was easy. I commented on big ol’ butch leathermen crying like babies in his office. He laughed.

    It was cool. He showed me the cyst. Not even one bit groggy from it. Shows I have truly been impacted by the experiences of chemo. It looked like a bloody navy bean, maybe a bit larger. He asked if I wanted it biopsied, since I have a cancer history. No. I have had these cysts before. i will have them again, no doubt. This is not cancer. Besides, I have had at least two PET scans done since this thing first formed. If they didn’t spot it then, the scans are a waste… So, he cut it open, saying the center would determine the type of gunk. It was a sebaceous cyst. I forget what the other option was… Dr. D is a great person, a great doctor and a very sexy man.

    He is not allowed to move out of state! I so decree.

    So, nothing big to worry about, but I have that weird, freakish pseudo-scaly thing to keep my indoors not spending money for a few days. Ya!