This morning I awoke out of an unnerving dreams. I didn’t have time to post about it this morning… but it has been carrying with me all day, if not the full details then most certainly the emotional impact.
In the dream, I had cancer. Again. In the other armpit.
(The thing is: I have been obsessed about my right armpit the past week or so. One day at work, I randomly itched my underarm and thought – very insistently – that I had felt something, something that wasn’t normally there.)
Oddly, in the dream, the nurse that was administrating the treatment, was trying to do so without my knowledge, or my consent. I was very angry through most of the dream. No one would listen to me; no one would give me any answers. And no one would tell me any of the stuff they were pumping into my body.
It was exhausting.
So, about my right armpit… Here’s the thing about armpits: if you dig deep enough, you will find something that feels like a lump: muscle, or tendon, or bone. Or even a lymph that isn’t abnormally swollen. Something.
As more years pass, I hear more and more sources tell me that I am approaching the point where I shouldn’t have to worry about it returning.
The dream tells me that I don’t believe any of that…
*sigh*
gryphon's hole 