And It Arrives…

Last night was my last shift at work.

I seemed to be more relieved than anything. I just need a break. As much as I enjoy the work and a good chunk of the people there, I simply feel relieved.

The shift supervisor said to me, “You are the kind of person we would like to see hired on full time.” Sure, all and well. And certainly without a better offer closer to my studio, I would take the offer….

But…

I breathed a sigh when I heard it was my last day. My digital supervisor asked why… (He is the one that has been working with me in the bindery, helping out for the past month.)

I told him, as much as I enjoy the company and the relaxed work environment. I mean, really, ink and piercings almost everywhere. I told him I always felt out of place there, that I always feel the need to reign in my true self to not scare the ‘locals’ so to say.

Perhaps it is the hokey sentiment, “I just need to be me.” More likely, it is a matter of what is familiar to me. I was a high end floral designer for numerous uber-gay shops for over eight years. I also tended bar for about five years for a big gay night-club. That totals well over a decade of uber queerness locked inside my body that needs to get out and move. Get out and S-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ing! (Read with JoAnne Worley impression.) I need breaks from this job. Honestly, I don’t know how long I could work there full time.

But I would enough the full-time job offer…