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  • welcome to the hole

    welcome to the hole

    Once upon a time, I kept a LiveJournal account, gryphons_hole, a deep, dark, comfy little hole in my brain where I kept notes on my life and queerness.

    This is the archive to that account, mostly password protected, adult, queer content, stripped of photo content after the site restructured its photo hosting feature. I hope to restore that content as well.

    If I know you, ask for the password. If I don’t, hope for a generous mood.

    08.18.24 I have realized a need to continue in this space. A kink reawaking if you will, with content that may range into inappropriate for my other blog spaces.

  • a leg to stand on


    I called Mom to wish her a happy day.

    She told me that Dad had his leg amputated. Almost two years now this shit has been lingering. Finally, he has a chance to mend and come home and get back to his life out of a frickin’ hospital bed…

    Everyone is in good spirits about the whole thing, mostly for how long it has been drawn out for us all. Good thing, too, because I will be putting together a pirate outfit to take home with me on the next trip back to Ohio.

    Let’s see: plunger, eye patch, fake parrot, frilly tri-cornered hat…

  • Protected: first friday style – the easy green edition

    Protected: first friday style – the easy green edition

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  • Protected: catching up

    Protected: catching up

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  • the not-so-ugly betty

    the not-so-ugly betty

    This evening, I caught myself up with the closing episodes of Ugly Betty. The final episode is starting as I type this…

    Over the show’s run, I have had a varied response. The most consistent opinion I have held is that I am very, very happy that the show exists. At the worst of it, I didn’t care for how flat and petty the show kept the characters; every bit of growth that anyone achieved was erased either by the end of the episode or by the start of the following one.

    Now that the show has been cancelled, It seems that the writers have finally allowed the characters to grow into themselves and into their futures.

    And let me tell about that queer little boy, Justin. By the final season, he has already grown into a stunning, beautiful young man; heart-wrenchingly pretty. And the balls of that character… Mark has been the gay foil from the beginning, and Justin started off as that harmless, silly effeminate teen. Now, he gets to grow into a brilliant young gay man. When the scene came from Hilda’a wedding, I actually cried when he took his boyfriend’s hand and led him to the dance. Of all the silly, un-empowered and unoriginal gay moments the show has had, the power of that boy stepping into his families love as his true self made up for them all.

    It seems that I will be sad to see the show go, but it needed to be killed before it found the balls I wanted it to have all along.

    And it was nice that they let Betty remain Betty and still come into her own beautiful style…

  • Protected: mr big & beautiful, continued

    Protected: mr big & beautiful, continued

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  • Protected: it’s been so long

    Protected: it’s been so long

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  • the weighted anchor

    It’s still April, right…? My brain has been out of its poetic meter center for so very long now; I have struggled for nearly a month to get something out for poetry month. This one stammered itself out over a period of days, which is unusual for me…

    —

    my body sings at your touch,
    but words fail in my report.

    my heart sits in my brain
    captured, for my mouth will not function.

    I want you inside of me, Sir,
    so that you will always know my truth.

    I understand how so many subtle pieces
    fit in the greater dance of our exchange.

    and my voice feels a choke,
    a stumble, as it croaks a celebration.

    and I pause.

    I sit in silence and in that, fear grows;
    a fear that is my undoing.

    I fear not vulnerability nor availability nor transparency;
    these things ease the tremor in my breath.

    I fear my missteps not taken, mistakes not made,
    my yet unspoken thoughts.

    I catch myself and prior
    to deprecation, I pause once more.

    in this silence, your words
    return to me and my fear is undone.

    your mark settles once more upon me,
    nestling into the hollow at my throat.

    I have become safe under
    your protection, Sir.

    I am returned home,
    anchored and secured.

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  • Protected: wbw: tawny

    Protected: wbw: tawny

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  • Protected: mundies

    Protected: mundies

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  • Protected: just in from the evening

    Protected: just in from the evening

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