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  • welcome to the hole

    welcome to the hole

    Once upon a time, I kept a LiveJournal account, gryphons_hole, a deep, dark, comfy little hole in my brain where I kept notes on my life and queerness.

    This is the archive to that account, mostly password protected, adult, queer content, stripped of photo content after the site restructured its photo hosting feature. I hope to restore that content as well.

    If I know you, ask for the password. If I don’t, hope for a generous mood.

    08.18.24 I have realized a need to continue in this space. A kink reawaking if you will, with content that may range into inappropriate for my other blog spaces.

  • t minus 42 hours

    Last week, I cut two medium size pieces when I realized that I still had no images selected for the boards. Prior to that, I messed up one of the small pieces. Aside from that, of the remaining forty pieces, one piece will not be finished for the show.

    I am totally okay with that.

    As it stands, all but five pieces are hung over at the Slap-n-Tickle. Apryl will finished setting the lighting tomorrow night. The remaining details and finishing work will get done Friday without leaving me hectic to do so.

    I am incredibly happy. Oh! Did I mention: I already sold a piece! (Yay!) Wednesday is Girl’s Night. The name is a misnomer, anyone of the circle and their guests are welcome, but the pot luck dinner occasion was started by a group of women in the local art community. Apryl hosted and we all got to hang out while I finished hanging the show…

    Mr. Big & Beautiful joined me and met the group, since he has to work this weekend.

    I have Friday off from work, so only tomorrow left on the work week. Thursday evening is blocked in for frosting sugar cookies for the opening to-do.

    Friday, I have to get food, finish and hang five pieces (just very light detail work), get raffle tickets, set the food table, shower, fix food and get dressed.

    I am incredibly happy with how closely I stayed to schedule. Sure, I would have liked to be a few days ahead of where I am, but I haven’t felt frantic through any of it.

    Small format pieces     (8 planned, number 8 fell victim to an unhappy accident, so seven in total):
    Done and hung: 7

    Medium format pieces (9 – 9×12, 4 – 8×16 and 6 – 16×16 planned):
    Done and hung: 13
    Done, except for some hand-embellishments (to do on friday): 4
    Scrapped (will not have the image/materials needed in time for show): 2

    Large format pieces (4 – 24×30, 6 – 24×24, 6 – 16×24):
    Done and hung: 10
    Done, will hang on friday: 2
    Done, except for small hand-embellishment: 1
    Done, except edging: 2
    Scrapped (no time left to finish, plus my fingers are sore from rubbing off paper fiber): 1

    Oh! And I almost forgot…

    *squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee*

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  • t minus four days and counting

    I had a good, productive weekend, and yet managed a pleasant amount of social time as well.
    The show is all mapped out on Apryl’s walls, and a portion of it is already hung.

    So, the update:

    Small format pieces (8 planned, number 8 fell victim to an unhappy accident, so seven in total):
    Done and hung: 7

    Medium format pieces (9 – 9×12, 4 – 8×16 and 6 – 16×16 planned):
    Done and hung: 9
    Very mostly done: 3
    Mostly done: 5
    Scrapped (will not have the image/materials needed in time for show): 2

    Large format pieces (unset number planned in three sizes – 4 – 24×30, 6 – 24×24, 6 – 16×24):
    Done and hung: 4
    Very mostly done: 2
    Mostly done: 10

    I still have two busy nights ahead of me to finish the work, but I feel I am at a healthy pace and with the energy levels I need to do it. Wednesday night is blocked out to hang the remainder of the show and do lighting. Thursday and Friday afternoon is food prep.

    Have I mentioned how excited I am…? I don’t remember…

    *squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee*

    , , ,

  • re:vision quest update

    Anyhow, A running tally, or running as soon as I post the second one, of the pieces for First Friday’s Re;Vision Quest…

    Small format pieces (8 planned, number 8 fell victim to an unhappy accident, so seven in total):
    Absolutely and completely done: 7

    Medium format pieces (12 9 – 9×12, 4 – 8×16 and 6 – 16×16 planned):
    Absolutely and completely done: 6
    Mostly done: 10
    More than halfway done: 1
    Scrapped (will not have the image/materials needed in time for show): 2
    (I miscounted the 9×12 pieces from the start, there were only ever nine…)

    Large format pieces (unset number planned in three sizes – 24×30, 24×24, 16×24):
    Done (except for mounting hanging hardware): 3
    Mostly done: 7
    More than halfway done: 5

    All images are printed and copied. Tomorrow morning is the time to transfer the rest of them.

    Tomorrow evening, I map out the walls and hang whatever is done to hang. (The rest will be hung next Wednesday evening.) I have Friday of the opening off from work and will spend the day at the Slap-n-Tickle getting ready and generally basking in the pre-to-do splendor…

    I am happy with myself. I would like to be further along, but last weekend put a big crimp in those plans. Still, I do not feel over-burdened with any of it. Each piece moved along inspires me to move further on all the rest. I really like this space…

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  • marking the day

    Six years ago, on this day, I was called cancer-free and released from treatment.

    Six years… Wow.

    I still get little brown scars rising to the surface of my lower legs from exploded capillaries that were damaged by the chemo agents; the nerve sensations in my upper left arm are still a bit whacked; and I freak out a bit too much whenever I find a swollen lymph node, which is exactly what they are meant to do when I am sick…

    Aside from all that, I am rather happy to still be here. Some days, I even feel good enough to forget it all and go about acting like I am healthy… Such a treat.

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  • the biker, the cadillac and the neckwear

    the biker, the cadillac and the neckwear

    I charged my battery over night, in order to get my car out to the bikers’ place. Unfortunately, I was hungry and stopped at a drive-thru for a breakfast sandwich. I stalled out in the parking lot just as I was about to get back on the highway. The mechanic/biker came and met me, with the battery from one of his extra vehicles. That got the Cadillac to his place…

    He refused to accept that the radiator had to be drained and removed. After a bit of exploration and a good deal more cursing, we got the old alternator out by only loosening the radiator from its mounts and leaning it out of the way.

    So, the Caddy is back to road-worthy: new alternator, new serpentine belt, fresh oil change.

    And there I was on a Sunday out in the Eastern suburbs, so I hit the DAV out that ways, which I typically only visit when I have other things to do in that neighborhood. I also went to the big, new Red Racks, a new concept for the DAV chain. It is almost an hour away, so I have yet to be, but the bikers’ place is over halfway there and the Independence DAV puts me even closer. The place is monstrous. I found the neatest vintage jacket. Seems to me that it is some sort of formal evening jacket, complete with satin lapel and satin-covered buttons.

    Also, I find myself happy that the pricing staff at the DAV tracks the popular, trendy labels when they price. It would seem that the younglings recognize and mark up Tommy Hilfiger ties and that sort, but it seemed today that they had no idea what the label of “Brooks Brothers” means. I found four BB ties in nearly flawless condition for only one dollar and ninety-eight cents…

    I like that sort of deal!

    Also, last month, at another thrift store, I found a BB BrooksEase jacket for only fifty cents… such a deal. I also snagged a pair of Stacey Adams snake skin tassel loafers for twenty-five cents. No foolin’!

    So, it was a productive day, even if not for my art… The car got its needed repairs, I found some sweet things for almost nothing and I got to catch up a bit with the bikers.

    In all, it was a good day!

    *smooch*

  • a running tally and the snag of the day

    a running tally and the snag of the day

    Today did not go at all as planned.

    Yesterday evening, the ever-so-smart dashboard computer of my Cadillac insisted on informing me in a very stern manner that “the battery is not charging”… To date, this has been the only dashboard message that cannot be clear off of the screen. Of course, I was not aiming for home when the message was announced. Drat. I was not travelling far, so I simply went about my business and come home and parked it for the evening.

    This rather pointedly interrupted my plans for a long, full day of progress on the new artworks.

    My morning started with a brave trip to a nearby auto parts store. They tested the battery and informed me that it was fine but receiving no current from the alternator. Fine, I actually replaced one of those before. It was my first triumphant act of mechanical butch-ness after moving to Phoenix and living all on my own… I ordered the replacement, which only needed two hours to show up from the distribution center. Back to the studio. I got in two hours of work on the art.

    The ever-fabulous Lori Raye drove me back to pick up the part. I also snagged a new belt, just in case. A member of the building maintenance crew offered the loan of a charger to make sure my battery was good enough to get the car started and off to the bikers’ place to do the repair. As soon as I got the battery out of the car and brought it up to charge, the sky darkened and opened up. As I couldn’t make the drive out to the bikers’ place with headlights, I had to postpone until tomorrow. At least I got a good chunk more of progress on the art stuff.

    I also picked up a Chilton’s Repair guide for my car. Of course, it is a Cadillac, so nothing is gonna be easy. This make take most of the day tomorrow, further cutting out my art-making schedule. It is what it is. As it goes, I will need to have the car on jack stands, drain the coolant and remove the radiator in order to swap out the alternator.

    *sigh*

    Anyhow, A running tally, or running as soon as I post the second one, of the pieces for First Friday’s Re;Vision Quest…

    Small format pieces (8 planned, number 8 fell victim to an unhappy accident, so seven in total):
    Done (except for mounting hanging hardware): 7

    Medium format pieces (12 – 9×12, 4 – 8×16 and 6 – 16×16 planned):
    Done: 0
    Mostly done: 12
    More than halfway done: 4
    Noticeably started: 6

    Large format pieces (unset number planned in three sizes – 24×30, 24×24, 16×24):
    Done (except for mounting hanging hardware): 3
    Mostly done: 4
    More than halfway done: 2
    Noticeably started: 7

    I should add that all boards are now covered; most have the first stencilling layers down and a good amount already have the primer layer of acrylic down.

    Not too bad, considering the events leading into the day…

    Oh, and I think that every board except two medium ones has its image finalized, so the most occupying process of the creation stage is done. Yay!

    ,

  • countdown to art

    countdown to art

    Here we go, ladies and gentlemen, and gentlemen-ladies…

    A running tally, or running as soon as I post the second one, of the pieces for First Friday’s Re;Vision Quest…

    Small format pieces (8 planned, number 8 fell victim to an unhappy accident, so seven in total):
    Done (except for mounting hanging hardware): 7

    Medium format pieces (12 – 9×12, 4 – 8×16 and 6 – 16×16 planned):
    Done: 0
    Mostly done: 12
    More than halfway done: 3
    Noticeably started: 3
    Boards prepped and materials selected: 4

    Large format pieces (unset number planned in three sizes – 24×30, 24×24, 16×24):
    Done (except for mounting hanging hardware): 3
    Mostly done: 4
    More than halfway done: 1
    Noticeably started: 3
    Boards prepped and materials selected: 5 (This group will only get major attention as time permits. If I am itching to move forward with more and assemblage concepts come to me for images already shot, they will progress…)

    If I get more matte medium, the cut-off is Wednesday, August 4. If I stick only with matte gel, I will need to stop earlier, since it takes longer to fully dry…

    Did I mention how excited I am…? LOL

    *squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee*

  • keeping up on the silence…

    keeping up on the silence…

    I am almost becoming disappointed in how easily I can run silence in my online presence after so many years, but it is what it needs to be, I guess…

    To summarize:

    The job is still rotting, although a few hugely potential leads may have just popped up on the horizon. Yay! for that.

    The art is still kicking ass! I am very excited; long ongoing internal *squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee* kind of excited.

    The heat is nearly overwhelming, although tonight was a nice heavy storm. Torrential downpour and lightning and everything… I should be able to get some long uninterrupted sleep tonight. Yay! for that, too.

    I think the thing about the upcoming show that makes me the happiest is the fact that I am further ahead of schedule than I have ever been for any open studio or first Friday. Sure, it is my first solo show, so there is a much larger number of pieces for me to do. Nearly everything is well underway. A decent chunk is finished except for mounting hangers. I officially finished my first group of larger format pieces tonight. Yay! for that.

    Hope all is well enough out there for all of y’all…

    *smooch*

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  • pimpin’

    pimpin’

    Of course, this is based on the handbills to hand out locally, so I felt there was no need for a street address. At what point is one allowed to assume that Google Maps is endemic to our culture…?

    The Slap-n-Tickle Gallery is located in the East Crossroads Art District at 504 E 18th Street, KCMO 64108.

    Queer art. Queer sounds. Queer snacks.

    LOL

    EDIT: The show will be up for most of the month of August, but after the opening weekend (Friday night, Saturday afternoon) the Slap-n-Tickle hours are by-appointment-only…

    EDIT NO.2: Here is the artist statement I wrote for the show, which has also been sent as a press release for local news….

    re:vision quest is about my own re:invention

    my person, my life, my world, my style.

    it is about re:shaping the outer world as my inner self manifests anew.

    sometimes, life tosses dung heaps upon you. sometimes, the events allows you to flourish and thrive and grow into something entirely different. entirely re:envisioned.

    gay culture. queer aesthetic. kinky indulgences.

    these things lead me to re:investigate the world of masculine image, sexual icons and the imagery of the queer fetish world. hyper-butch, overly contrived, dull forms give way to relaxed boundaries, blurred lines and fluid shapes.

    where rigid traditional leather imagery once stood stoic, queer sensibilities surface. chaps give way to corsets; uniforms to suits. the stern countenance turns up in a grin. and a giggle.

    re:vise re:invent re:build

    I am re:building my inner man.
    he is, on occasion, a screaming girl. and I am fully okay with this.

    my body, my personal style, my fetishes, my quirks and kinks and personal and worldly taboos; gods, icons and mankind all fall under scrutiny in the quest to re:new…

  • a numbered list

    a numbered list

    One: I have been busy as hell producing art for my upcoming show next month.

    Two: did I forget to mention that I have my first solo show next month…? Dang! Did I really…?

    Well I do. It opens on First Friday in August at the Slap-n-Tickle, of course…

    Three: I am also as poor as I am busy making art. Seriously, I would be crying every day if I weren’t so busy making stuff. As it is, I only cry every other day, and only for a minute or two; I don’t have the time.

    Four: I am hugely exciting about the new stuff that I am producing. I also miss my illustrations so much that it is beginning to hurt. I will have to find a balance to allow for both once I establish a process for the mixed media thing…

    Five: I am so angry about my workplace at the moment that for the most part all I can do is throw myself further into making stuff. If I think about it too much or allow myself to get too angry, I simply cannot function…

    Six: I am very excited about the show… Did I say that already…?

    —

    Stay tuned. I will post the new stuff here as well, but likely not until after the show opening…