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I have reconnected with Jeffers. Gods, I miss him. He updated me some on Bob’s condition. The stress and sadness is still here, but not the fight or flight instinct. I can breath and plan a slow reaction, somewhat. Instead of trying to interpret and perhaps misconstrue the facts, here is a chunk of his email…

No need to rush after would be fine. The colon cancer has spread to the
lung it is inoperable and radiation is out at this time. He is doing weekly
chemo and holding up but it is hitting him hard. Bob has not said anything
but my guess is 1 year to 1 1/2. I am ok considering the circumstances.

I also got Jeffers’ yahoo ID and spent most of last night chatting and catching up. I have always had difficulty keeping close contact with folks that are not in town, in part due to the fact that they are still so active and vibrant in my memory, it sometimes is hard for me to realize they are not still right beside me.

Initially, it was a novel thing. I do like the feeling that all my old friendships are right by my side, but now it has become an annoyance. Friends are now falling into ill-health and dying and I don’t even know. Breaking the habit is more of a bitch than first anticipated. I suppose it would be like changing any other habit that has run the length of a lifetime.

I am thankful that I can at least plan a more sensible trip later on to visit Bob. I am also glad that Jeffers is back directly in my life, even if only via instant messaging.

I went to the tail-end of beer bust last night at Bootleggers. While there, I met a trio of guys. Funny, how I am so easily drawn to half nekkid redheads…

The redhead was Roger. As it turns out, he is part of Jeffers extended leather family. Jeffers is the second leather craftsman at Tuff Stuff back in Phoenix. He is also a great friend. He’s the one that made my harness back in January.

Back to the point….

Roger says, “So, you heard about Bob?”

Fuck!

No. I didn’t.

Bob started chemotherapy for colon cancer about the same exact time I started my own chemo. His cancer has returned. With a vengeance. I was told it is in operable this time.

I can’t stand it. My heart is about to burst.

Bob is the owner of Tuff Stuff Leatherware. He has been for some time now, having expanded the business to Palm Spring and I just heard into a bar shop in the Eagle in Phoenix. Any one that ever picks up a copy of the Leather Journal should recognize his name, Bob De Jardine… He is always mentioned there. Especially in the nominations for the annual Pantheon awards.

I can’t stand it.

Bob is also my first mentor. Really, technically, my only mentor in the face-to-face sense.

He is also the sponsor for the Southwest Regional contest of LeatherSIR/Leatherboy. I did his posters and design work for the regional contest for five years, leading right up to my chemo…

The crazy whack job in me wants to rack a bit more credit debt and go back to Phoenix now, while I am unemployed. I am looking into it…

I can’t stand it. My heart is breaking and I can no longer see the screen as I type.