Yesterday (Wednesday) morning, I woke exactly fifty-five minute ahead of my alarm. I snapped myself out of a dream; I was so upset that I felt unravelled.
The entire to-do took place in this incredible palatial home that I was visiting. At the onset of the dream, the homeowner was a local acquaintance (who happens to have an incredible home for real, although not exactly so grand a scale…). By the end of the dream, however, the owner (same person, different manifested form) was <unknown lj user>.
The owner (when he was still the local guy) had to run some errands. While he was gone, I wandered the home. I kept hearing odd things, whispers and creaks and such. I began feeling fully paranoid and filling with panic. By the time I could find my way back to the common areas toward the front of the house, the entire place was packed with young, bothersome party-goers. I was furious. So angry… they were smoking and trashing the place. I started screaming and ranting and clearing them all out of the place.
I felt like a huge failure, a disappointment.
I was still processing the panic of the event when some sort of space-time blink happened and the great room was once again filled with bodies. Only this time, they were hired event staff preparing the place for the holiday season. You know, the one that just passed last month…
It was all beyond incredible. Although all the prep was deafening and I was trying to focus on my own task-at-hand. I am unsure what the goal was, but I was scribbling a lot of notes and information onto various blank invitations about the size of a business card.
Then <same unknown lj user> returned from the errand. I bust into sobs when he approached me. I was blubbering. I raced to explain everything in the same moment and couldn’t manage any of it…
I was so upset and disappointed in myself that I woke myself up. Really, I think that cloud has been following me around all freakin’ day.
I have been holding onto many things that need resolution; they have been weighing me down.
gryphon's hole 