Q: Why do helpless people always insist on entering the self-check-out aisles…?
As witnessed in Costco today (Yes, yes. I know! Costco on Saturday equals a big fat NO! I have learned my lesson…):
1. Um, yes, really, you cannot start you transaction without your Costco membership card. Um, when have you ever been able to check-out at Costco without first starting with your membership card…?
2. Er, if it didn’t read your debit card the first three times you swiped it upside-down, then perhaps you might wish to try turning it over. And perhaps brush up on Einstein’s definition of insanity…
3. I suggest to you all that the self-check-out lanes are designed and installed for speedy and efficient alternatives to long lines, which is to suggest that those customers that are neither speedy nor efficient should stay in the traditional lines…
4. If you are shopping with your age-of-technology children, please, please, (please!) allow them to check-out for you. Everyone will adore you for your smart decision-making skills.
5. If you have no earthly idea what a UPC code is or where you are likely to find it on a package, please see line item no. 3.
6. No body is cute enough or hot enough to be forgiven for any of the above transgressions.
7. Packing your purchases back up in your cart is part of the check-out experience, if you plan to take all day, you are still holding up the line and I would like to refer you back to line item no. 3.
And to offer one recipe-check line addendum to this:
8. If the talking register tells you that you need to keep your receipt handy for the employee at the door, then listen to the freakin’ talking register. No one wants to be held up by you twice in the same freakin’ experience…
Thank you and enjoy your shopping experience at Costco.
gryphon's hole 