…my three oldest friendships. This photo was just posted to Facebook. I assume from the Fourth of July… Odd how cold it was in Cleveland for the start of July.
Left to right, this is Bill, Rick and Steve. Bill and I were in the same Cub Scout den sometime around third grade, although we never saw much of each other from there until my tenth grade. I met Steve at the same time Bill showed back up again. Rick followed a few years later.
This is the first time I have actually hurt to not be there… I am not sure why I am so surprised by that reaction; I should be. Surprised that is… There have been many other photos I have missed, but most of the other ones include everybody else, spouses and lovers and the rest of our circle, so I guess my absence isn’t as obvious to me. (There is even one photo somewhere on Facebook where I am tagged as a telephone is the hand of Rick’s wife, Becky. They called me at that gathering, so I could be in the photo with them… LOL)
This includes the extended circle, but the four of us…? We have been through everything together: first dates, growing pains, high school horrors, first jobs, college, coming out, getting engaged, getting lovers, getting married, having children, divorce, diabetes, cancer, HIV and other chronic conditions, death of parents. Experimentation and growth of all sorts. Pretty much every major life experience except for one of our own deaths. We have transcended the gay-straight divide. Truly and fully. All four of us can and do easily have in-depth conversations about our sex and sexuality and illnesses and troubles. There is no squirmishness left between us, if there ever was any. This is love at an unconditional level. LOL I have even shared some of my naughty photos from this blog and been told how hot I am by the straight ones…! This is a forever gig!
I have the hardest time building and keeping this level of friendship these days. Perhaps due to the commitment of time it requires; we all met each other when all we had was time to hang out. Perhaps because I already have three of them that I moved away from… Sometimes I wonder if that impacts my own ability to nurture other connections: always being so far from my oldest friends…
The four of us…? This could explain how I am such an intense person when it comes to interpersonal exchange and connection. I mean, really, look what is in my life for comparison.
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