As my work schedule goes, in my mind this is still December first. I am a bit late, but really, somewhere to the West, it still applies for real. And for some of us, it is everyday, so two days for everyone shouldn’t be a big thing.
AIDS.
I try not to think too much about the drive to not mention it. About the stigma. About that nobody talks about it for what it is: an everyday, twenty-four hour event. It is endemic to everybody’s life, even if they don’t see that fact. I try not to think about my rage that Americans pretend it is a foreign tragedy. I try not to think about the huge numbers dead from the world; those that should be here, in my life, as my mentors and friends. I try not to dwell in the emptiness left behind by this disease.
I try not to think about all of this… because I carry it with me in my blood and I need to think about living, about surviving. About carrying my life forward, bravely and wholly.
I try not to think about it all because those thoughts crush me, even as my shoulders bear the burden of so much weight in my life.
And yet, I realize the time has come to think of it all, every last bit.
gryphon's hole 