starting round four

I blinked. I missed it.

October 2 was the end of my third year on LiveJournal.
I don’t need to rehash the entire time, but decided I wanted to post about this year just finished.

Things I learned in year number three:

• My body is not as super-powered as I like to think it is.
• When bondage devices are outside of the budget, sport coats and ties are a close second. The right vest can be much like a corset.
• Well-fitted wool trousers are beautifully obscene when worn without underwear.
• My job – regardless of any high opinions I may develop about it – sucks the soul out of a person. No doubt remains in my mind.
• I am much happier when the studio is presentable.
• Unconditional love is an incredible thing. It is rare and should always be cherished.
• My family still continues to amaze me. I have always suspected us to be unique and I continually discover new things that support this notion.
• The blessings in my life balance out the curses and make them worthwhile. And vice versa.
• Pain means even less to me now. I don’t even notice most of it. In its place, I find curiosity and intrigue. I long to bring people into my life that can help me with that; people that aren’t purely driven by their own egos…
• My energy source isn’t endless like I used to believe it to be, although it may be close… For everything I have been though, I am still boundless when in my center. How I can even still be moving captivates me on a regular basis.
• I am not kind enough to myself. In this, I don’t think I can be as kind to others as I would like to be.
• Buried somewhere beneath all the fun and happiness and confidence is still a tiny, scared little child. That child doesn’t always know how to be healthy or take care of himself.
• I love big band music. Love.
• If pain and joy are the perfect compliment to each other, offering the other context, then LJ is the most perfectly balanced experience I have ever had…
• People, generally speaking, don’t want to think about their choices. Doing so makes them accountable. They would rather blame their misery on someone else.
• I may have always accepted responsibility for my own misery. If I am wrong in that, I have never accepted it. Not once.
• I long to be an accountable, whole adult. Sometimes I doubt I will ever make it.
• I am no longer so afraid of falling outside of the lines. In fact, I think I may function much better outside of the lines. They seem so arbitrarily chosen, I just can’t make much sense of them these days.
• I miss posting lists like this. I used to do it quite often three years ago. I should reconsider such things…