Last night was a great time!
The costumes were fun or sexy or clever. Some managed all three. Friends Doug and Wayne took it all, but I don’t even know if I can explain it at all. Think intergalactic space officer and escaped convict. Think silver and pink knee-high patent leather go-go fuck-me boots. Think pink fishnets. Think electric blue lightning print body suit with metallic silver lightning bolt KISS-esque accessories. Think an olive green with hot pink sequined striped military mini-skirt and top reminiscent of Bette Midler. Think big frickin’ helmet hair in electric blue and neon lime green. Think giant dick shaped sippy cups and toy guns and LED lights turned into space laser weapons. Yeah. They so won!
Oh, yeah, think two of the biggest penises I have ever had rub up against me…
The jello shots were a hit. My cooler was empty for the drive home. Ric, had been at BITO both times I have brought them along. He has a very amusing schtick developed at this point. It makes me laugh every time. He loves my jello shots. I mean loves my jello shots. At night. This past year at BITO each and every night, I was his best friend, his jello pimp, his bosom buddy. Each morning afterward, he hated my guts. It was a very entertaining cycle…
Okay, last point of the party: The best party tray – EVAH!
Todd is a wicked genius freak! I love him!
He brought a deli tray stacked up high with tons of mini tubs of Play-doh! How frickin’ ingenious is that? At first, one of the hosts was all WTF? Why did you bring Play-doh to my party? But it was the bomb. Of course the first thing I made was a penis. Hot pink and yellow striped with lime green balls and a blue helmet. The spurts of cum were white. You need some sort of realism to balance the whack! Todd and I even built a plate of breakfast food: two eggs, sunny side up; a slice of toast with a pat of butter; two slices of bacon, with squiggly lines of red and brown; and a bloody mary with a celery stick. I think that was the best Play-doh presentation of the night…
Unless you count the goofs. We goofed on two folks and it was hilarious. One hilarious funny and one bordering on hilarious mean. The mean was accidental…
The first, a friend was drinking martinis. He order another and kept shouting, “Dirty, dirty, dirty! I want it nasty dirty.” So, he got dirty. As someone made the drink, I made the garnish. We serve his dirty, dirty, dirty martini with a garnish of brown Play-doh turd hanging on the rim of the glass. Turd humor is just so much fun. Fake turd humor is just fantastic!
The second… Someone brought these great homemade truffles, dipped with toothpicks in each one. Three of us were in on the goof. Todd, myself and the dirty martini guy, Wayne. (He was also the one in the blue and silver space get-up.) Wayne ate a truffle and wet himself a bit, but Todd asked for the toothpick. We all started giggling. Todd rolled a ball of brown Play-doh and smashed it down flat a bit on the bottom. He dropped it in the tub of truffles and Wayne stuck in the toothpick.
Even having watched them did it, I could hardly tell which one was fake. Uncanny. It was left off to the corner all by itself. I soon forgot about it. Damned jello shots…
Later in the evening, Todd came up to me all excited. “It’s gone!” I didn’t register what he meant at first… “The Play-doh truffle, it’s gone!”
No. It couldn’t. They didn’t…
Todd over heard someone else say, “The truffles aren’t that good. I had one and it tasted like dough…”
I wanted to be all sweet and caring and say we should have removed it. I wanted to be compassionate and kind and apologetic to the man that got the Play-doh truffle. We should have stopped it…
Instead I started laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe and I almost fell over. That’s like the perfect Halloween prank stuff! Come on!
Play-doh on a deli tray! I am telling you, pure genius!
(Todd told me Costco has 80 count packs of the mini tubs for about ten bucks…)
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