I just returned from my first trip to Harc-Mart, KCMO’s HIV/AIDS food pantry. I had spoken to my new case manager about the service last month. It would seem it is one of KCMO’s last wavering assistance programs without ridiculously low income cut-offs.
The volunteers were very friendly and helpful. Since it was my first week, I got a better set-up than normal… After the food was loaded in the car, I began to cry because this weeks produce include fresh strawberries, something I had been crossing off the list to conserve money.
I have never utilized food assistance before this. During chemo and my intermittent periods of unemployment since, I was still living with David and/or receiving help from my family. I felt like I would be abusing the system then. David makes a considerable salary. So do my parents. It didn’t seem right to use Harc-Mart – or food stamps.
Seeing my imminent lay-off in the next week or two, I wanted to plan a head a little and utilize what services I have available. Unemployment will be less than half of my already meager income. I think I will struggle for a few eeks on unemployment to finish getting moved into the studio. Then the job hunt for anything I can tolerate. If it is nothing I like, I can always return to the yearbook place next year…
Unpacking the groceries, it was a surprisingly diverse selection, even if the quantities were low. I didn’t know what to expect going into the place. I was surprised by the amount of refrigerated and frozen goods. I guess I was expecting a week’s worth of beans and rice… The deli potato salad and big can of beef stew fired up the waterworks again. This has been pretty common since I finished chemo. Two years now and not much change in the habit. I like to think that chemo burned out my defenses and left me free from all that self-conscious macho guy crap our world dumps on us, but more likely I have just grown into a big ol’ cry-baby…
gryphon's hole 